My soul soaks it up like the jungle soaks up the rain. My spirit flows like the water dripping off the palm fronds. I am saturated with the love of God, and I can feel it sloshing out all over anyone who gets close to me. My face hurts because I'm smiling and laughing so much. This amount of joy is nothing but divine, and Lord how I needed it.
It rains here every day. The rain is warm and feels wonderful on my skin. It makes warm puddles everywhere, including inside the flip flops I leave outside of every building. It smells fresh and clean here, and is a stark contrast to the city I just left. I hadn't realized that the city was so oppressive to both my senses and my spirit.
When we got here, we came with several notes and care packages for the boys from the first team. I thought it was a little strange at first. I usually keep my distance from boys that are under my leadership in a youth group setting, mainly because it seemed like I should be. I look like I'm a teenager, so I feel the need to be extra "leaderly" around guys so there's no confusion about my intentions. I don't usually give out hugs, and I don't usually do a who lot of personal ministry or encouragement with them. There's a mental wall there: they're kids (even if they're teenagers and closer to my age) and I'm a leader. I'm not exactly their best friends, and I care about them from a distance.
The line is a little more blurry here. The girls on the previous team are obviously really good friends with these guys. The richness of their friendships is very apparent to me. The culture is different here, both from a standpoint of us being in India and the amazing love that permeates this place. It's a love that I'm not used to. Strangely enough, it seems as though this is the very kind of love that is flowing out of me. I didn't know I was capable of giving this magnitude of constant and strong love for everyone around me.
The only explanation I have is that it's not me. It can't be. This is God using me to give these boys exactly what they need.
Maybe I keep the guys back home at too much of a distance. It's very important to have appropriate distance for the purpose of staying above reproach, but I might be missing out on some ministry that needs to be done that only I can do. The boys back home need this kind of love too.
Now these guys here are reaching out to me to be their friend. This is a bit of a jump for me, but I'm deciding to make it.
These guys have a way of being protective that is adorable. Everywhere I go, one of them finds a chair and insists that I sit in it. They run and get my shoes so I won't walk barefoot anywhere. When they do catch me barefoot, they tell me to be careful and watch out for rocks. If I'm with a few of them and it starts raining, they will hand me the umbrella and they will walk in the rain. They seem to be always looking for ways to serve and honor me. They get excited about seeing what the girls on our team need and finding ways to meet those needs, even if it's really small or insignificant. We are sisters to them. These boys have true servant's hearts. They're like real live heroes. Not kidding, that's how I feel around them. They are like heroes, and it leaves me room to blossom into a treasured and valued woman of God. I feel strong and encouraged in their presence, but also like they'll shoo away the big dumb dog that keeps jumping up on me and getting her muddy paws all over my clothes. It feels like this is the way it was intended to be. We empower and encourage each other just by being ourselves and listening to God and what He would have us do for each other. It's a beautiful picture. I need to remember this one, because I believe it's a picture of what it should feel like with whoever I end up marrying.
This morning at 7, I led a devotion with the girls. I had a group of about 15. I was kind of nervous about it, but eventually I decided to talk about a few verses that are very special to me: Jeremiah 17:7 & 8. These verses talk about a tree that is planted by a river with roots that go down deep into the soil. The tree doesn't fear the drought and is always producing fruit. A few years ago, this verse was given to me by the guy that had also given me the God's promise that 'my time is coming'. He said that I was like that tree. People would come to me for fruit because I would always have something to give them. He told me that I would be producing fruit until the day I die.
I told the girls to be like the tree with deep roots. I told them about how I am always talking to God like a friend, and we have a strong relationship. But I also tried to tell them about how I got there. I told them that it wasn't always easy, and sometimes it was hard work, but my life now bears the mark of God on it. Even people that aren't Christians can see it. There are people where I work that tell me that they hate Christians, but they like me. This can only be explained by God's life in me. I tried to instill in them that this is something you have to work very hard for, but the blessing you get in return is amazing. I told them that part of the huge blessing I was getting was the fact that I was sitting in front of them right then. I don't know if any of this stuck, but I pray some of it did.
After breakfast, Trisha threw Marla and me into a 'conversational English' class. As teachers. This was a new experience, and certainly not one I was prepared for. I was pretty intimidated. It was Marla, our wonderful translator Nasreen and me. Marla went through asking them what they were going to do that day and having them respond in English while I dug through my Bible to find a verse we could teach them. I landed on 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, a bit of verses that seemed to be demonstrating themselves all over the place. We started with: "Love is patient, Love is kind. It is not selfish, it is not jealous, it does not boast." We then taught them words for animals like lion and tiger and lizard.
After lunch, I went to go see the girls in their vocational shops. BTC teaches them skills that they can use, such as sewing and jewelery making. They sell what the girls make. In the leather working shop, I found out that Target had actually put in an order for their picture frames. That blew me away. The company I work for is actually supporting BTC! I was really excited about that one. In the sewing shop, I got a crash course in how to sew using a foot powered machine. I wasn't very good, and I couldn't sew a seam to save my life, but they enjoyed teaching me.
I returned to our room later on. When we left for dinner, I picked up one of the beautiful white blossoms that are on the trees in the courtyard. I stuck it behind my ear, just for fun. After the girls cleared out, Alok appeared at the table first again. When he saw the flower he said, "You are looking so beautiful!" Inder and Kartik also said they liked it. I took a mental note: grab these little white flowers whenever you go by the trees.
After dinner, we went back up to our rooms for what Trisha had called spa night. We would be giving facials, pedicures and manicures to all the women in Ashagram. The first team had already done over half, and we would do all of the ladies that remained. For those of you that know me pretty well, you know that I have never had one of those three. When my toenails are painted, it's an event. It's not that I don't care about my appearance, I do. It's just that this stuff isn't really on my radar. I would just break every nail that I worked so hard to fix. I run around barefoot and bite my fingernails. The fact that I would now have to serve these ladies like this was intimating for me. I feel like a 3 year-old coloring outside the lines with a bottle of polish in my hands.
At first, this was tough. The sister sitting in front of me on the couch was learning English. She could understand what we were saying, but she asked for a translator to say anything back to us. I've been in that situation, so I was sympathetic. I hate language barriers. I don't like the fact that I can't understand and speak every other language.
First, I washed her feet in the basin to signify that we were there to serve them, sort of like Jesus washed the disciples' feet. I got some scrub and used it on her hands and feet. I got the facial scrub and put that on her face to set. I then got to work on getting the polish off her toenails. When I finally got that off, I found that as expected, I wasn't so good with the actual polishing portion of the pedicure. I was really trying and praying that I wouldn't screw this up, but it didn't look as good as I would have liked. She actually took the polish from me at one point and did it for me. I did a little better with her hands, but I basically felt inept. Casey next to me was having a wonderful conversation with the sister she was serving, and I was just struggling to get polish on my sister's feet. I finished and prayed for her, and then prayed that she didn't feel insulted by the fact that she had to basically polish her own toes. This one was tough for me, but I prayed that she felt blessed by it. I also knew that I would have to do this several more times during the week, and I was going to need a lot for grace to do this without feeling completely inept.
That night before we went to bed, I was thankful. This place is breathing life into me. I'm being healed in ways I'm not fully aware of, and probably won't fully know how much has happened in me until a little while after I'm home. I'm excited to see more of what God will do.
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