God, Help Me

This is not an easy process

I made plans for June.  Then I heard that the guys were coming to the US in June and would be returning in August.  I said I could wait until August if I didn't jump out of my skin first.

So I made plans for August and decided to wait.  This all happened at the end of February, so I figured I'd hear that they had bought their tickets sometime in April or May.

But then . . . there was the Indian Government.  These guys could not get their visas and passports to save their lives.  April went by.  Nothing.  May went by.  Nothing.  I heard from Inder and Sunil that they were still coming and they were buying their tickets at the beginning of June.  Meanwhile, the price of tickets is still going up, people at church are telling me that I'm being irresponsible and I'm trying not to flip out every day for two solid months.  Mid-June, I sent an innocuous e-mail asking for a progress report.  I didn't get a response.  June goes by.  Nothing. On the second of July I finally hear something from India, but this is not what I was expecting.

It's a Facebook post,
Informing me that BTC's music trip is happening July through October.
I about cried.  Seriously.

I had been on pins and needles for 3 months, trying not to panic while waiting to hear from them.  I was not allowing myself to be 'that annoying girl;' that e-mails every other day trying to figure out what the heck is going on.  The last e-mail I had said that they had an appointment to get passports, but that was the middle of April.  I thought I had missed the e-mail.  I thought they had forgotten me.  That day, I broke down and e-mailed them again, saying that I didn't want to be a bother, but whattheheckisgoingon!?

Michael was really nice.  He wrote me back right away and said that they were trying to buy their tickets that week.  That week went by.  Nothing.  A second week went by.  Nothing.  I'm trying not to kick puppies and have sworn off speaking at work because I don't want to accidentally yell at all my co-workers.  I woke up on Friday the 13th of July in a panic over this again, but this time I was so tired of panicking about it.  I said "God, I don't care if you make me wait until next flipping year to take this trip.  You told me to go on it, so YOU get my butt over there whenever YOU see fit.!"

That day,  I heard back.  The tickets had been purchased.  FOR THE NEXT WEEK.

All that waiting, sitting on pins and needles and waking up in a panic has led to them coming . . . thissecond.  I didn't even have enough time to ask off from work!  They are flying in on the 23rd.  I am lucky that there is a gap in my schedule right after my camp finishes on the 3rd of August to go see them.

I then asked Michael for the info on their return flight so I could get a ticket on their flight back to India.  He responded with: "Are you coming to India in October? If so, I need to inform our leaders. We have a lot of guests in October and November and I'd have to see the availability for that time. Please let me know your plans and I'll see what we have."

My trip may be pushed back to January.  I'll just have to wait and see.

In other news, Kenny has been offering to let me come visit them when they visit his church since last January.  I wrote him and told him that I would take him up on his very generous offer, and that I would probably be doing it the 3rd through the 5th or so.  Then my work was really nice and told me that I could have a few extra days.  I was excited!  Finally, something was working out without an act of Congress!  Then Kenny writes back and tells me that he's still trying to work out the sleeping arrangements.  I tell them I don't need a bed or anything.  Then I remember:  They're hosting Sunil.

DUH.

Of course I can't stay at their house.  I had temporarily forgotten every single youth ministry rule that has ever been enforced about "purpling". (girls are pink, guys are blue, no purple).  Nice move, youth worker.  I have enforced this rule for a decade and then I forget it exists entirely.   To make it worse, they have a teenage son and daughter in their house, further complicating things.  Kenny is being really nice about it.  He's trying to find somewhere else for me to stay.

Meanwhile . . . I could scream.  I'm trying to not panic and be patient, but also make my own plans without inconveniencing everyone.  Yet it seems as though it all involves a level of panic and inconveniencing wonderfully generous people that I don't even know.  I hate that.  I really do.  I feel like I should apologize to everyone and then timidly creep in my room and stay for a week.

God, Help me.  This is rough on me.  I'm not usually a huge planner, but I care so much about these kids, this ministry and this country that I just wanted things to work out.  You have other plans for me, it would seem.  Please let me learn what I need to learn from this so I can either implement it in the future or avoid this entirely.

Something tells me though . . . this is probably what my life will look like a lot of the time if I end up in India.  I'd better just get used to it and find a way not to panic, because this is going to be a long haul if I don't.